


Devastated and Hopeful

by Miss_Vanderwaal



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, The Dollhouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 01:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6217459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Vanderwaal/pseuds/Miss_Vanderwaal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was that place; the lack of human warmth was simply maddening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devastated and Hopeful

   As she was slowly waking up, she felt that her head was comfortably resting over someone’s lap. Her mind was still wandering around the subconscious and she dreamed for a few seconds that she was back in her old bedroom, the bedroom that was in her home. Perhaps it was her mother’s lap, or Aria’s – the tiny girl’s fingers surely knew their way through her hair. But the gaze that Hanna’s eyes came to meet later on wasn’t of neither of them.

\- Oh, thank God! – it was a breathy whisper that indeed sounded thankful.

   Hanna’s knee jerk reaction was to try and sit up, but a headache was apparently trying to end with her.

\- Mona?

\- You wouldn’t wake up, I got so scared – her voice was faltering.

   Hanna made another attempt of sitting up, but ended up groaning painfully.

\- No, no, lay still, sweetie – Mona put her hands on Hanna’s shoulders for a second. – It’ll be good for you.

   Hanna put her right palm over her forehead. She could feel her head throbbing, but she managed to look around anyway. The place was darker when she was just opening her eyes than it was now. There was a flickering light – that allowed Hanna to recognize Mona’s frightened features – in the end of a dirt wall that seemed to belong to nightmare land.

\- Where the hell are we?

   Mona didn’t respond, just kept fondly playing with a few strands of Hanna’s hair. She didn’t want to say the words, she was embarrassed, Hanna could tell by the way Mona moved her gaze downwards.

\- We’re in the hole, aren’t we? – Hanna put the pieces together in a cold, almost careless tone. – The hole you kept warning us about.

   Mona merely nodded, as if she was silently admitting a failure. Surprisingly, Hanna didn’t panic – her head was aching way too much for that –, but she did wonder why Charles put her in there. She didn’t remember disobeying any rules. Her head told her it probably wasn’t safe for her health to think too far, though, so she decided to stick with the theory that she was being punished for calling Charles a bitch – twice. She also decided not to ask Mona why _she_ was put in there; that information didn’t concern her.

\- Do you have any idea how long we’ve been here? – Hanna ended up asking as softly as she could, for Mona’s sake and for the sake of her throbbing head.

   Mona managed to give Hanna her weakest smile.

\- I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but I’d say I’ve been calling you for about ten minutes, since he brought you here. You know, it’s like there’s this little clock inside my head, counting the seconds when I need it to. It helps me with not losing track of time and with not losing my mind. It fills the silence.

   The girl actually let out a slight laugh and it made Hanna feel genuinely better. The gentle tone in her words was making the blonde’s headache slowly fade away.

   Hanna indeed felt relieved; or as relieved as she could feel with that many “thank you” and “I’m sorry” to be said, not only to Mona, that were all tangled up in her mind. The best way she found to express herself was by holding the shorter girl’s hand.

   They remained like so for quite a while, silently. Hanna tried to count the seconds inside her head as well, but gave up quickly – it was pointless anyway. Feeling the dirt underneath her body wasn’t as terrible as her old self would think.

\- Forgive me for what I’m about to say – Mona suddenly spoke, still very softly – but I’m really glad you’re here.

   Hanna smiled as she took those words in. She understood, of course.

\- No need for forgiveness on that – she finally sat up, looking Mona in the eye.

   Mona smiled after, thankfully yet coyly.

   With her hands on her knees, Hanna said no more and they spent a little while longer wordlessly.

\- I… I miss you, Han.

  Hanna turned to Mona once again; the shorter girl was looking at her tentatively, almost as if she was scared of the consequences of those words. It sounded like something she’d been wanting to get out of her system for a really long time.

Hanna delicately guided Mona’s fingers to one side of her face and kept her own hand over Mona’s while the girl’s palm slid over her cheek. If felt indescribably good finally being touched after so long.

\- I miss you, too – she whispered, and the words felt heavy, probably because there was just _so many_ people she wanted to say that to besides Mona.

   They met eyes and Mona’s were pleading for something; _please, hold me, make me feel warm again_. How in the world could Hanna deny that when herself had never felt so cold before? So they fell into the softest hug; Hanna could hear Mona’s subtle gasps of relief as herself let out a few as well.

   As Hanna carefully slid a hand along Mona’s back, she silently prayed for that exact same comfort to fill the heart of everyone she loved; Aria, Emily, Spencer, Ali, her mom, Caleb. She wished that they all could feel what she was doing to Mona, every caress, by telepathy or anything like that.

   But then something changed; Mona locked her eyes on Hanna again and they were pleading for a different thing this time. The brunette – that now had a blonde wig literally glued to her scalp – was crying and Hanna was hit by an overwhelming feeling of homesickness; she knew that Mona was the closest thing she had to home, and she felt like she needed to hold on to it, so she glued her lips to Mona’s, and as soon as she closed her eyes, she could visualize herself in her bedroom, reliving those golden middle school years when A was nothing but the first letter of the alphabet to her.

   Mona’s tongue, always gentle, gave Hanna the epitome of that nostalgia, and it made her want to deepen the kiss – which certainly must’ve caught the shorter girl by surprise because she tried to pull away at one point. Something about kissing Mona felt comfortable to Hanna, like they’ve done it many other times, and she didn’t want _that_ feeling to be telepathically shared with anyone else.

   She appreciated the taste of undeniable familiarity that lingered in her own mouth when their lips parted.

\- I’m so sorry – Mona hastily said, lowering her head again and almost visibly blushing.

\- Please, don’t be – Hanna stopped her with a hand on one side of her neck.

   Although she didn’t regret it – and she didn’t want Mona to regret it –, Hanna knew it wouldn’t happen again. It was that place that made it happen; the lack of human warmth was simply maddening.

   Mona smiled her 13 year old coy smile, as if she understood every single one of Hanna’s reasons.

\- Come here – Hanna wrapped her arms around Mona once more, and the brunette’s gasp of relief was even deeper this time. – We’ll get out of here, okay? I promise you that. We just have to be hopeful.

**Author's Note:**

> Hanna and Mona's interactions in the dollhouse had everything to be candy to any Vandermarin fan's eyes. I, for instance, had my hopes highly up since that hug and that hand over knee moment - all coming from Hanna! -, but, well, Marlene is always there to burst my bubble.  
> Fortunately there's the magical world of fanfiction :)


End file.
